If you are divorcing a narcissistic spouse, finding the right attorney to represent you is crucial. You need more than just an experienced lawyer, you need someone who knows how to oppose a true narcissist. By now, you know that it is not an easy task, which is why choosing from divorce lawyers specializing in narcissism is so necessary.
If you find yourself in the position of divorcing a narcissistic spouse, we can help. At Litvak Litvak Mehrtens and Carlton, P.C., our Colorado attorneys have the skill and knowledge it takes to contend with a narcissist. In this post, we’ll answer your questions about lawyers specializing in narcissism and what it takes to divorce a narcissistic spouse.
What Makes A Narcissistic Spouse?
The majority of people will come across a narcissist at some point in their life. At the very least, they’ll encounter someone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies. This might include anyone with an inflated ego or sense of entitlement and self-importance. Someone with this mental condition also feels they deserve constant admiration and attention. This, along with their lack of empathy for others, results in troubled interactions and relationships.
If you’re married to a narcissist, you would know by now. That is most likely why you are here on this page reading about divorcing a narcissistic spouse.
The relationship with a narcissist is more than likely an abusive one. Whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional. Narcissists have a tendency to bully or belittle their partner with no sense of remorse or shame. They live in a fantasy world that enforces their own delusions of superiority.
Knowing a narcissist is nothing compared to marrying one, and marrying one is nothing compared to divorcing one. It can be a financially, physically, and emotionally draining process to endure. That is why you should not have to handle it on your own.
What Makes Divorcing A Narcissist So Difficult?
Most spouses in divorce proceedings prefer to take the easiest, quickest route possible. This is not the case with narcissistic spouses. Generally, they will tend to drag the process out and contribute as much drama as possible. This is because while they possess a deep sense of dominance, they also enjoy playing the victim. Divorce proceedings are a perfect place for them to play out this role, even when in most cases, they are the abusive spouse.
By prolonging the process and causing as much strife as they can, they receive that sense of power. It is thrilling for them to see the mental exhaustion they are causing to the other party.
Unfortunately, divorce from a narcissist is not a rare occurrence. This is due to the fact that any relationship a narcissist forms, especially a marriage, is nearly impossible for them to maintain.
In divorce with spouses who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), you can expect every issue to get contested. This might not always be the case, but it is what you should prepare for at the very least. A person with NPD rarely ever gives in to any confrontation. This especially goes for issues raised in a divorce proceeding.
This is why there are lawyers who actually specialize in this particular area. Clients opposing a narcissistic spouse need someone who is able to understand the mental disorder and how it works. They then need to use that knowledge within their litigation strategy.
Deposition Questions For Narcissist
If you find yourself in a deposition with a narcissistic ex, there are a few key things to remember. The first is to never give them the attention that they crave. Don’t even look at them. Refusing to give them attention or acknowledgement will be a significant blow to their esteem. It might trigger them to show their true personality, while you remain calm and collected.
Another tip is to ignore any attempts from their lawyer to provoke you. Your job is to answer the questions truthfully and to the best of your ability. If you are uncomfortable with a question that’s asked, give your lawyer time to object.
The most important thing to remember is to tell the truth. Keep your answers short and to the point. You don’t need to explain yourself, only answer the questions asked of you. If your spouse chooses to lie or tell stories, let them dig their own grave. Let your lawyer do his or her job by handling the rest.
How to Negotiate a Divorce Settlement With a Narcissist
The mindset of a narcissist is to fight to death over any minor issue. In court, they will see this as their time to shine. The spotlight is on them, which is where they want and need it to be. With the spotlight, they will hold on to it for as long as they can, dragging out the divorce in the process.
Something you can expect to see in the courtroom with a narcissist is the assertion of power and control. They will likely use this power to manipulate the court system. Some tactics they might use include:
- Wasting time
- Causing delays
- Providing untrue or incomplete information
- Filing motions or documents with little to no merit
- Being unresponsive to questions
- Making false accusations
- Being deceiving
In the narcissist’s mindset, winning is the only option. The reason they may contest every issue in court, minor or major, doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else’s best interest but their own. It is the one of the few ways they are able to prove their self-worth.
Divorce Lawyers Specializing In Narcissism
People with NPD require a unique and customized legal strategy. Lawyers taking on this task need a sufficient amount of knowledge to maneuver these types of people. First, the divorce attorney will need to identify the narcissist’s motives. They will need to plan how to out-maneuver the spouse’s tactics while still protecting the client from manipulation.
Lawyers who practice family law are far more prepared to handle litigation challenges with a narcissistic spouse. When choosing a divorce lawyer for this type of case, experience is crucial.
If you are considering or are currently divorcing a narcissistic spouse, let us help you. The attorneys at Litvak Litvak Mehrtens and Carlton, P.C. have over 65 years of combined experience. We know what’s required to take on a narcissistic spouse. Our family lawyers are familiar with the tendencies and tactics of a narcissist, and we will use our strongest defense against them. We won’t let them have the last word, which is something they’re entirely too used to. Call us today at 303-951-4506 or visit our website to see how we can assist you in your divorce.